Most of this year has been spent with me throwing my hands up and saying, “Now what, LORD? I really have no idea what I’m doing here, and I really have no idea which way to go.” Particularly regarding my role as a parent. I used to think I had it all figured out. I was quite opinionated on parenting techniques, and thought with all of my knowledge, I would forge ahead and shine bright in showing the world how parenting should really be done – oh, how wise and knowledgeable I thought I was!
I thought that if I could just make it uncomfortable enough every time my children disobeyed, quickly enough, and consistently enough, they would learn that “it doesn’t pay to disobey.” They would learn that ‘resistance is futile,’ and that everything works out better when you just obey. I thought the burden was on me to catch less than desirable behavior quickly enough, and be creative enough to come up with something that would motivate them to never want to do it again. I thought this harsh parenting was what would train them in obedience. Though this was not the kind of parenting I had received growing up, I reasoned, “Well maybe if my parents had been harder on me, perhaps I wouldn’t struggle so much with submission. Perhaps I wouldn’t be so dead set on always having my own way. Perhaps I would have learned better to accept an answer of ‘No.'” As though the Bible teaches that we can have a perfect formula for our environment that will produce in us perfection – complete and continual subjection to His will.
Alas, I see now the folly in this.
Ruling your children by force and cruelty is condemned in Scripture. I came across Ezekiel 34 and wept. God had very strong words for those who were in charge of His sheep, but weren’t laying down their lives for them.
“And the word of the Lord came to me, saying, “Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel, prophesy and say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord God to the shepherds: “Woe to the shepherds of Israel who feed themselves! Should not the shepherds feed the flocks? You eat the fat and clothe yourselves with the wool; you slaughter the fatlings, but you do not feed the flock. The weak you have not strengthened, nor have you healed those who were sick, nor bound up the broken, nor brought back what was driven away, nor sought what was lost; but with force and cruelty you have ruled them. So they were scattered because there was no shepherd; and they became food for all the beasts of the field when they were scattered. My sheep wandered through all the mountains, and on every high hill; yes, My flock was scattered over the whole face of the earth, and no one was seeking or searching for them.”
‘Therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the Lord: “As I live,” says the Lord God, “surely because My flock became a prey, and My flock became food for every beast of the field, because there was no shepherd, nor did My shepherds search for My flock, but the shepherds fed themselves and did not feed My flock”— therefore, O shepherds, hear the word of the Lord! Thus says the Lord God: “Behold, I am against the shepherds, and I will require My flock at their hand; I will cause them to cease feeding the sheep, and the shepherds shall feed themselves no more; for I will deliver My flock from their mouths, that they may no longer be food for them.””
That’s pretty clear. This was not the pattern of leadership that God had designed, nor shown to His people through His own leading. Jesus says He takes it pretty personally how we treat His people, and whatever we’ve done to the least of these, His brethren, we’ve done it to Him. This has always been how God feels. He has always had compassion for the oppressed. For those not being taken care of by those in authority over them, but rather being taken advantage of.
But God’s Word doesn’t end there. There’s not only indignation and justice to be served toward those who are not caring for those in their charge, there is hope of tender loving care for those who have been oppressed, hurt, scared, and scattered. God will care for His own.
“‘For thus says the Lord God: “Indeed I Myself will search for My sheep and seek them out. As a shepherd seeks out his flock on the day he is among his scattered sheep, so will I seek out My sheep and deliver them from all the places where they were scattered on a cloudy and dark day. And I will bring them out from the peoples and gather them from the countries, and will bring them to their own land; I will feed them on the mountains of Israel, in the valleys and in all the inhabited places of the country. I will feed them in good pasture, and their fold shall be on the high mountains of Israel. There they shall lie down in a good fold and feed in rich pasture on the mountains of Israel. I will feed My flock, and I will make them lie down,” says the Lord God. “I will seek what was lost and bring back what was driven away, bind up the broken and strengthen what was sick; but I will destroy the fat and the strong, and feed them in judgment.””
He goes on even to judge those of the sheep who are mistreating one another, but the message toward the leaders is clear: forceful and cruel leadership is not Godly leadership. I am grateful for God’s goodness toward me in His patience, and even more so His promise of tender care, especially when I feel like I have been done wrong and have been on the receiving end of oppression. I fear the LORD, and want to please Him and do right by His sheep. May God grant me wisdom and strength through His Holy Spirit to shepherd and care for the children with which He has so graciously blessed me!